When It Hurts To Touch Your Child: The Other Extreme Of Sensory Processing Disorder

When Touch Hurts Your Child: The Other Extreme Of Sensory Processing Disorder

Many people, especially those in autism circles, have heard of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). However, there is another extreme to the ones I’ve seen posted about online. I have two children on the spectrum. Both have SPD, with one loving weight and pressure, but Allie is different. For her, even a gentle touch bothers her. So, let’s get started talking about what happens when even a hug hurts your child.

What Is Sensory Processing Disorder?

Basically, those with SPD have brains that respond to senses too much or too little. This can include vision, hearing, smell, taste, and even touch. This condition can also affect movement.

Some people with this condition have all of their senses affected. Others only have one or two that are affected. My youngest child is overly sensitive to touch, hearing, smell, and vision. However, she has an extremely dull sense of taste. 

Across the medical field, it is recognized and known, even if it isn’t yet a recognized diagnosis on its own. Rather, it seems to be more listed as a “symptom” of autism.

Types of SPD

There are several different types of the condition. These include:

• Sensory Over-Responsivity (SOR) – Overly sensitive to sensory input. Lights are too bright, ordinary noises sound like a jackhammer, light taps on the arm hurt, etc. 

This is the kind that affects Allie. She can’t handle rain on a car roof. When I say she can’t handle it, nonstop shrieking and screaming. It’s been happening since she was a toddler. She also can’t handle hugs; even bathing her or brushing her hair is a nightmare. 

A teacher recommended we replace her bedroom light with a blue light. It has done wonders for helping her light sensitivity!

• Sensory Under-Responsivity (SUR) – Less sensitive than the average person to sensory input. These people tend to like weighted blankets, pressure, loud music, and maybe even contact sports. 

My oldest daughter used to bang her head on the wall and slam herself against the couch to get the extra sensory input her brain was craving. 

• Sensory Craving (SC) – These people seek out sensory activities for stimulation. However, it just results in disorganization. It also doesn’t satisfy the craving. 
• Sensory Discrimination Disorder – This type means you have difficulty interpreting sensory information. This has several subtypes, including Auditory Processing Disorder. Allie and I both have this condition (yes, we have a lot of conditions). With Auditory Processing Disorder, your brain mixes up what you hear, leading to a lot of miscommunications and even danger. 
• Postural Disorder – This type of SPD means you have problems perceiving your body in space. You have trouble stabilizing your body during movement and sometimes during rest as well.
• Dyspraxia – This type means you have multiple issues with coordination and movement. It affects your gross and/or fine motor skills. 

Touch Hurts My Child

On social media and in the media, whenever Sensory Processing Disorder is mentioned, weighted blankets and banging heads on the wall come to mind. However, there is another extreme, one where gentle touches hurt.

Now that I think back to when Allie was a baby, she never liked to be held. We had issues feeding her because that required someone to hold her. She hated swaddling and would scream in agony if anyone tried. I also seem to remember she didn’t react normally to heat and cold.

As Allie got older, she started screaming bloody murder each time we went down the stairs. She still refuses to get on an escalator even though she’s 14 now. Bathing her and brushing her hair were sensory nightmares. The girl still screams each time I try to brush her hair, but also refuses to cut it. Brushing her teeth is the same way. 

When waking her up in the morning, even a gentle tap on the arm has her jump as if a fire alarm went off. She can’t sleep when it rains or when the train honks its horn throughout the night. Fireworks are not our friends, even with headphones.

Air Hug & Blue Lights

Hugs hurt Allie. Over the years, she has given me a few hugs, but it is like hugging a board! However, she does it more because I need the hugs, not her. Hugs actually do hurt her, so as a special needs mom, I have resorted to “Air Hugs.” It gets looks from strangers, but it lets her know I love her without having to touch her. It also makes her giggle.  

As I mentioned earlier, if light hurts your child, try blue light bulbs. Allie’s teacher uses it in her classroom and suggested it to me. It has been a game-changer for Allie! 

Kids with SPD can get motion sickness. I didn’t even know Allie had it until she was 11. She always thought feeling sick during movement was normal. She also thought everyone gets sick after a car ride. The sickness isn’t limited to the car, though. Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder can also get sick just from jumping jacks or walking in a circle. 

Both Allie and I bump into corners repeatedly. I still haven’t found a solution for that.

Despite the condition causing some serious issues living in the “real world,” I adapted. I get to work from home full-time and have since 2009. I use delivery instead of going to the store. My voicemail transcribes and I rarely answer a phone call unless I know who it is first. 

Allie has a bed tent, like the one you go camping with, over her mattress. It was a game-changer for her. We are currently waiting for a nicer one that will block out 88% of light. I’ve read that if it blocks out light, it probably blocks out some sound, too. 

What are some of your solutions for your sensory processing disorder kiddo?

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