Goddesses & Special Needs Parenting: Meltdowns & Miracles

Special needs parenting isn’t for the weak, that’s for sure. Even though Allie and I share some of the same diagnoses and struggles, her challenges are about triple what mine were at that age. Plus, I had the ability to visualize and create my own inner words at a moment’s notice. It’s harder for Allie because she doesn’t have the ability to visualize. In any case, I have often felt like I was at my breaking point. However, when I reached out to the goddesses for help, they not only answered, but also very swiftly and effectively! So, let’s get started, and I’m really excited to share this with y’all!

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Austism & Early Childhood Trauma

I’m not a mental health expert except for how it relates to my own life. With that being said, Allie has a lot of trauma in her early childhood. When she was just starting school, COVID hit and shut them down. The decision was made to homeschool her, but she was isolated, and I was not well. Eventually, booze, bad men, and my mental health issues made it impossible for her to have a normal life. So, Allie went to live with another family member while I went to get well.

It took a few years, but I got Allie back when she was 11. I had gotten sober, had a tumor removed, my mental health was stable, and I finally had some stability. However, there were a lot of unknowns about Allie’s time between when I left and when I got her back. I only mention this because Allie has an adjustment disorder along with everything else. Her last counseling stint didn’t do much, and she was discharged as she wouldn’t open up.

However, it’s been a while now, and I have developed trust with her. It took about two years of being consistent, calm, and extremely patient. We are also taking her back to counseling starting next week. So, her early childhood might factor into the issues that I was recently facing with her school.

Chronic Pain & Repeated Illnesses

Allie got her vaccinations from the county health department when she came, as we didn’t really know much about her medical history. Then, I got her into school right away. It was at the end of 5th grade, and she really seemed to love school. That continued until recently, in the 8th grade. Allie never had much success connecting with students, but she does love teachers, structure, and routine. Allie is one of those kids who takes school very seriously.

However, a few months ago, Allie started coming down with a lot of stomach pain. It started happening so much that the doctor sent her to a GI specialist. They did an endoscopy, and while they could see she was visibly red on the inside, the biopsy came back normal. She was given medication and a new diet. However, the pain continued, and she started missing a lot of school. Every illness, she would get, sometimes more than once. It’s like her immune system just couldn’t fight anything off anymore. Then came the migraines, ringing in the ears, and muscle pain.

The referrals continued to all kinds of specialists and all kinds of tests. We still don’t have any answers, but then Allie just stopped going to school. She did test positive for Type A influenza right before the winter break. The break was two weeks, and she was sick the previous week. So, that’s already three weeks she’s been out of school. Then, school starts back up, and she’s in pain again. The times I forced her to go, I would just get a call later to pick her up. So, you really can’t force Allie to do anything, just like me! LOL!

Special Education Teacher’s Determination

Up until that moment, Allie was in special education for some of the day. However, the goal is to try to mainstream special needs kids as much as possible. So, Allie had some regular classes, and then she had her special education class. The special education teacher knew something wasn’t right and kept emailing, calling, and texting. Then, she asked if Allie would email her. I had to tell Allie, “Okay, tell her your biggest problem with school. Okay, what’s the next problem?” However, the typing, the issues, and how she explained it was all Allie.

At this point, I’m thinking that my kid is never going to school again. I personally never made it past the 8th grade. I attended a few high schools for a few months, but quickly gave up. However, I was able to work really well from a young age. So, I had a plan and knew my next move. Allie isn’t like that, so she really needs school.

Crying Out to the Goddesses

As a Wiccan, I deal with mostly goddesses. Special needs parenting is hard, especially if you are basically on your own. After day after day, week after week, month after month of keeping it calm and cool, I finally collapsed. I mean that both figuratively and literally. I was outside in the breezeway and looked out towards the stars. Thinking about Allie, I fell down on my knees and just cried. I begged the goddesses to help protect and get Allie the help that she needs. I admitted that I had no clue what to do or where to turn next. I felt the shiver, the knowing sign that I was being heard. I just didn’t expect what would happen next and certainly didn’t think there would be an immediate response!

Creative Solutions Appeared Immediately

I’m telling you, within two hours, I got an unexpected call from Allie’s special education teacher. She received Allie’s email and understood her issues. We had a really nice and long chat about Sensory Processing Disorder and how hard it is being as sensitive as Allie is to noise, lights, touch, smells, etc. The teacher came up with a great solution and had already cleared it with the special education director. She just needed my okay. She suggested pulling Allie out of the regular classes and putting her back into special ed full-time. I really thought that was best, but then the teacher went even further. She suggested that the few classes that she couldn’t teach, Allie could do online schooling with the teacher right there to help her. It was an incredible solution and knowing Allie, I just knew it would work!

My Kid is Back!

We have had this new schedule for about a week now, and it is working out beautifully. Allie not only goes to school every day, but also shows up on time! No more falling asleep in class, and the stomach pain continues, but it’s now manageable for Allie. Even better is that Allie seems content and happy. She doesn’t come home all angry or overwhelmed. She actually comes home happy, excited to tell me about everything she learned that day.

I hear so many terrible stories about the school system and special needs kids. However, I am so thankful that Allie has a teacher who understands her so well, and advocates for her so hard. Sometimes, the little things can make a huge difference in how a child grows up. It can also help to have some kind of higher power to reach out to when things become too much.

Blessed be 🙂